Saturday, July 18, 2009





It's friday night and I'm tired, it's been a long day and it's just catching up to me, I've been full of energy since yesterday and getting a lot done, organizing the shop, fixed the brakes and changed the oil on all the trucks. Now the only thing left is to go to Trader Joes and clean my woman's car, i can't wait to do it, i think it will make me feel close to her since she is still in China, i also love to feel useful, it makes me feel like a man when i can clean and fix things. All i can think about is spending time with her, cant wait until she gets back! I don't know what to do with myself on this weekend other than maybe fix a few more things and try to keep busy to pass the time, don't get me wrong i love to spend time alone do things and relax, we all need that.
But this time i am sooo ready for her to come back, i miss her and I'm excited that I'm one day closer to walking down the street with her going to our spots while I'm holding her hand, i've had butterflies for the last couple of days!
love and miss you sweetie, see you soon

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Hives suck!





S0 i get a skin infection, go to the doc, get some meds, and figure every things going to get better fast so I can get back on the mats! Can't wait! So,I do get better over the 2 week coarse of antibiotics, but the whole time i am on them.. i kinda feel like there's bugs under my skin.
My scalp is itchy, my chest, arms ect..I tried to hide the scratching because I didn't want people to think i was crazy. I told one of my friends, he laughs and says you better not do any drugs
or you might to see them. (the bugs) So on the last day of the round of antibiotics i leave my friends house and driving home my armpits start to itch.
I get home look and i have a small rash. So whatever, i go to bed, about 3:45 in the morning i wake up and have SEVERE itching under my beard! O well time to cut it off,grab the clippers and away we go. When it comes off my whole face is covered in rash, and my chin was swollen, knew that wasn't good!
Took some benadryl and crashed hard a little while later, figured whatever I'm having an allergy to it would go away in the morning. Yeah right! no such luck. It was even worse,
my chin was still swollen, but like a frog when it's ready to make that noise,
my arms and the sides of my ribs completely covered. So as soon as my friend got to the house
at 8 i told him no work today! We were off to urgent care, when we got there i pulled off my shirt to show the doc and he knew right away that i had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics.
I asked him how come it took so long to have a reaction? he said, you either have an immediate reaction ,or that some times your body can tolerate only so much before it shuts down, (your liver before it stops filtering properly) but lets look at your throat, how can you even breathe? apparently i am allergic to Bactrim, Septra, and Sulfa. Which could have, with bad timing shut my throat no one around, you get it! (wouldn't typing right now)
no fault of the doctor, how is he supposed to know I'm allergic when i don't, shitty way to find out! Anyway he said that the meds would still be in my system for about another week so the hives won't be going away any time soon, so we just have to make as comfortable as possible.
then he asked me if i had any heart problems, or ulcers because they had to give me a shot of adrenalin to take the swelling down, and that they had to watch me for awhile
so i don't have a bad reaction to the adrenalin (like a heart attack) I said no ulcers and the only problem with my heart was that my girlfriend was in China and i miss her so much! So it's kinda broken. Then on with the shot,he says it's going to feel like you just had a cup of coffee.

So nurse comes in proceeds to administer the shot and says, stop flexing your arm relax or it's going to hurt! I am relaxed i said, my arms were just hanging there. She looked at me like uh oh, so i turned my head away. Fucking shot hurt like hell, it took forever to push that shit in, and it burned.(my friend Marshall said ya he probably doesn't need a shot of adrenalin not a good idea) So about two minutes later the magazine i was reading fell from my hands, couldn't hold on to it anymore, my hands were shaking so bad. Then the heart starts a pumping, Holy Shit,what kind of coffee has this doc been drinking? It wasn't like any cup of coffee i have ever had before and i like two extra shots of espresso in mine. (I think the doc uses speed instead of sugar in his cup) my heart felt like it was going to pop. I had to lay on the floor to relax and take very deep breaths, i really thought that i was going to have a heart attack and this went on for about 30 min . Finally i was relaxed, survived and three and a half hours later i got to leave.

After i left we went to pick up my ''new medication'' went home and tried to relax.
It worked for about 5 or 6 hours before it started

Monday, June 22, 2009

my girlfriend




Once i decided to try and relax, loose the ego around her, and just enjoy the
time that we spend together, and the very little time that we have left,
my life has become a lot more enjoyable!

Saturday, June 20, 2009


Chokefest was so fun!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009












my tru form when i shape shift